Enter at Your Own Risk

The title gives you a hint of what this post is about.

When you're single, there's no assurance that you only get to attract non-committed guys. But trust me, you could be more prone to guys who are in a relationship. But why do guys flirt with other girls even if they're committed to another girl?

1. They see something in you that they don't see from their current partners. Probably, you're more fun than his girlfriend or you're just hotter/prettier/smarter, etc. than her.

2. They have time to do so. Girlfriend's curfew is at 10pm and you're available at 10pm onwards. Or maybe the other girl is on a different work shift (day/night).

3. They're in a Long Distance Relationship (LDR). Boys will be boys, and they have needs that have to be satisfied. Just read between the lines. Or maybe they just needed company 'coz they either miss their partners or they lose interest waiting.

4. To boost their ego. I don't know why this is an issue. I mean, so what if they have lots of girls? Does it really make them look hotter in front of their friends? Well I think it's a guy thing. The more girls they have, the more confident they become.

5. They just can't be loyal. With or without a reason, guys have chances to cheat so beware. It's hard to find partners who will be honest and loyal to you. These days, it's really hard to trust 100%. Well if you really love the guy, even if he cheats on you, you try your best to understand. But everything has a threshold or limitation.

At the end of the day, you should know your worth. You know what you have to offer and you know what you deserve. Being a third party (flirting with a committed guy is counted) doesn't do any good. Well maybe you just enjoy the company of the guy, or you just treat him as a friend, but make sure that you don't cross the line or you'll just get yourself in trouble. Even if it has come to a point that you have already liked, or even have fallen in love with that guy who's committed to someone else, you should stop yourself from doing so. I know it's hard but you gotta find a way to fight that feeling.

Just refer to your conscience. Would you really choose to be with someone who's been cheating with this partner? What if you end up with this guy, how sure are you that he wouldn't do the same to you? That guy is cheating with his girlfriend. You should show concern to his girlfriend who's being fooled 'cause you're a girl too.

And how are you sure that by accommodating that guy, he'll choose you over his girlfriend/partner in the end? This happens very rare. When a guy breaks up with his girlfriend, he doesn't end up with the one he's flirting. Oftentimes, he chooses to be single for quite some time, and finds another girl he'll be committed to next; and unfortunately, that isn't you. Some run back to their EXes. But I don't think they choose to end up with someone they used to flirt with.

Don't be a home wrecker. We've learned a lot of that from "No Other Woman", "A Secret Affair", and "The Mistress". Let's just leave it to the movies and not bring it to reality. Keep LOVE sacred and maintain your high value. You don't really have to work so hard for love because if it's really for you, then love will find its way.

The Friend Zone

Usually, girls know whether a guy they meet is a potential boyfriend or a fling (for non-committing people). It's not so often that a girl develops feelings to a guy friend. I mean, yeah there are cases that it happens like falling in love with a friend (or bestfriend), but it's not very usual because we have what we call the "friend zone." Like in my case, I have this policy, "Once a friend, ALWAYS a friend." So I don't really fall for a guy friend.

But in some instances wherein a guy you meet is hitting on you but you just consider him just as a friend (it's not that you don't like him, but maybe you just feel like you're better off as friends), just put him in the "friend zone' and do it nicely. It's not that you're ditching him but you wanna save, at least the friendship. How?

• Don't go out alone w/ him. Invite your common friends to come along.
• Ask him what he likes in a girl and tell him you'll introduce him to some girls who may meet his qualifications.
• Call him dude, friend, pare, etc., just act like a "tropa" to him.
• But if he doesn't get all those moves, then he's probably insensitive so just tell it straight to him that you just see him as a friend. Again, do it nicely.

In other situations, you feel that a guy friend of yours gets clingy and is showing signs that he likes you. But then again, you just want him as a friend, and do not see bringing your relationship to the next level. You want nothing else but friendship. Here we can't be sure that you won't offend your friend when you make moves in putting him in the "friend zone" so you better make sure that you got the right signs and that you're not just assuming that he likes you. So what to do now?

• You can talk to him a lot about your crush, or the person you really like. Ask an advice or whatever that will make him feel that you like someone else and you're that you're already "friend zoning" him.
• When he's telling you mushy lines privately, you can show him that you're taking it as a joke by saying "Gutom lang yan" or "Epekto lang ng alak yan", you know, stuff like that.
• When he's making "hirit" in front a group of friends, you don't wanna offend/humiliate him so you can just go with the flow (maki-"ride" ka lang), but text him or talk to him privately after and tell him that you're not comfortable with that.
• When your friends are teasing you together, it's either you ride with them with some sarcasm or you tell them your points in a joking manner. You can say "di kami talo" or "ay grabe kinikilig ako haha (sarcastically)" or "sorry naman, once a friend, always a friend".
• When your guy friend is super "makulit" about it, again, talk to him privately and tell him that you're better off as friends.

I've done those things and they're effective! So I ended up with lots of guy friends! But it's okay 'coz they don't only protect me from dangerous guys, but they also act as my "wingman" haha!

The "friend zone" is very much in use these days. I often hear guys saying "na-friend zone ako." Well at least it doesn't sound as heartbreaking as "nabasted ako" haha!