The Friend Zone

Usually, girls know whether a guy they meet is a potential boyfriend or a fling (for non-committing people). It's not so often that a girl develops feelings to a guy friend. I mean, yeah there are cases that it happens like falling in love with a friend (or bestfriend), but it's not very usual because we have what we call the "friend zone." Like in my case, I have this policy, "Once a friend, ALWAYS a friend." So I don't really fall for a guy friend.

But in some instances wherein a guy you meet is hitting on you but you just consider him just as a friend (it's not that you don't like him, but maybe you just feel like you're better off as friends), just put him in the "friend zone' and do it nicely. It's not that you're ditching him but you wanna save, at least the friendship. How?

• Don't go out alone w/ him. Invite your common friends to come along.
• Ask him what he likes in a girl and tell him you'll introduce him to some girls who may meet his qualifications.
• Call him dude, friend, pare, etc., just act like a "tropa" to him.
• But if he doesn't get all those moves, then he's probably insensitive so just tell it straight to him that you just see him as a friend. Again, do it nicely.

In other situations, you feel that a guy friend of yours gets clingy and is showing signs that he likes you. But then again, you just want him as a friend, and do not see bringing your relationship to the next level. You want nothing else but friendship. Here we can't be sure that you won't offend your friend when you make moves in putting him in the "friend zone" so you better make sure that you got the right signs and that you're not just assuming that he likes you. So what to do now?

• You can talk to him a lot about your crush, or the person you really like. Ask an advice or whatever that will make him feel that you like someone else and you're that you're already "friend zoning" him.
• When he's telling you mushy lines privately, you can show him that you're taking it as a joke by saying "Gutom lang yan" or "Epekto lang ng alak yan", you know, stuff like that.
• When he's making "hirit" in front a group of friends, you don't wanna offend/humiliate him so you can just go with the flow (maki-"ride" ka lang), but text him or talk to him privately after and tell him that you're not comfortable with that.
• When your friends are teasing you together, it's either you ride with them with some sarcasm or you tell them your points in a joking manner. You can say "di kami talo" or "ay grabe kinikilig ako haha (sarcastically)" or "sorry naman, once a friend, always a friend".
• When your guy friend is super "makulit" about it, again, talk to him privately and tell him that you're better off as friends.

I've done those things and they're effective! So I ended up with lots of guy friends! But it's okay 'coz they don't only protect me from dangerous guys, but they also act as my "wingman" haha!

The "friend zone" is very much in use these days. I often hear guys saying "na-friend zone ako." Well at least it doesn't sound as heartbreaking as "nabasted ako" haha!